Relationships can be difficult and trying at times and one of the hardest things is

Not addressing issues you have in a relationship openly and honestly can lead to

1. those little things you don’t say can begin to suffacate you

2. the things you once found endearing drive you up the wall

3. a small issue can become bigger and bigger

4. if the issues summ up, you risk exploding out of nowhere and for no apparent reason, risking an otherwise wonderful relationship

5. you start feeling resentful towards your partner -once more…

Some consequenses keep showing up. We all want harmony and peace in our relationships. We want the happily ever after. What we don’t realise most of the time is that relationships need care and it takes effort from both partners to make it work.

Addressing issues before they escalate is something that is so difficult because often we are terrified of opening Pandora’s Box. One thing can lead to another and it can quickly turn into a blaming game.

So how do you not fall into that trap?

When you have an issue you want to address, make sure you do not blame one another. I knoe how much easier it is to put the blame for a situation on someone else but in the end it will lead you nowhere. On the contrary, you may win a battle but you are at serious risk of losing the war.

Instead, how about trying a more constructive aproach – and believe me, I know how difficult that is when emotions are involved. I am the first to admit that sometimes you just need to vent and blow your top, channel those emotions and let them out. We cannot always be controlled and disciplined. That is ok as long as you manage to take a step back, take a deep breath and help your partner understand – without blame and accusations – and find a solution together. Be straight forward when you have an issue, don’t beat around the bush or play games – that is just tedious – and be honest. This might sometimes be painful but see it as the infamous ripping off the band aid quickly. More often than not you have more to gain than you have to lose.

And Ladies, I know that in most cases we want to talk about pretty much everything, as we often believe that everything is important. But trust me when I tell you it is not. Sometimes you just have to deal with things and not try and change the partner you fell in love with. If you want to train your partner, get a puppy.

And Gentlemen, take your partner seriously, even if you find some of the issues not worth discussing, perhaps give it a second thought as it might give you a better understanding of the person you love.