7 Rules for a healthy relationship – Rule #3

Especially in long term relationships we tend to simply forget about

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This is a huge mistake and one that at a certain point can lead to losing your partner. I have said and even written it many times and I deeply believe it to be true that everyone essentially needs three things to be happy:

  1. be seen
  2. be heard
  3. be recognized/loved

Taking your partner for granted can make him/her feel like an object, like someone that doesn’t count and is just useful. Interestingly this is something that does not only occur in long term relationships but often sneaks in very quietly and quickly if you don’t watch out. It starts with little habits and routines that make every day seem the same – a bit like ground hog day! Nothing could be worse. It becomes tiresome and can even become deadly boring.

In summary, the killers in a relationship can be:

  1. constantly repeating a routine
  2. boredom
  3. lack of interest in one another

We all want to be special, especially to our partner, to the people we love and want to be loved by.  There is little that feels worse than being taken for granted, when all we want is to be seen as the unique indivudual that we are.

Of course some relationships – and I know this is devastating – are not meant to be forever (the happily ever after is more often than not a hopelessly romantic Hollywood story – although they never show the work that a healthy and happy relationship needs when the film ends). But it is ok, as long as you tried your best. And even if it doesn’t work out, treat the person you loved with kindness and respect. Sometimes feelings just do not last through changes and personal development that we all go through in our lives.

But the person you fell in love with is special – otherwise you would not have been attracted to one another. So why not give it your best shot and make sure that you show that you care and not take the one you love for granted – at least most of the time. Think about it and look at your relationships, your friendships and see what you can do.

As simple as the rules are, as simple I like to keep the short explanations. if you feel something is missing, just let me know…

 

 

 

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