7 Rules for a healthy relationship – Rule #5

This one is probably my personal favorite – yes I admit it. It may not be the most important part of a relatioship, but important nevertheless

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Making love to the person you love is probably one of the most satifying experiences you can have and – as a side note – it is also very beneficial for your health and wellbeing.

Melting into one another, feeling so close you become one and forget everything around you, the smell of warm skin, the touching of lips, the taste of your lover is invigorating and helps keep the relationship alive. Unfortunately so many partners still do not dare to speak about sex. Speaking about something so intimate requires trust and respect on both sides.

So often relationships end due to little, bad or even no sex. I am sure there are people that are happy to live without it or have even accepted bad sex.

But lets face it, life is much too short for bad (or no) sex.

I have been asked how much sex per week is “normal” and I admit that the question made me laugh, as I have absloutely no idea. Also I struggle with the label of what is considered normal. When it comes to love making the frequency is dependant on so many factors. In the beginning of most relationships you usually cannot keep your fingers to yourself and you are probably a nuisance to a lot of people around you, showing your infatuation constantly. After (more or less) three months, when the butterflies are not as active anymore, you will most likely become less of a nuisance to your environment. Whith this very often the frequency of your love making will go down, sometimes even siglificantly. If both partners are ok with that it is not an issue. But if one partner is is not, you might face problems. Communicate with your loved one and find the common ground, there is so much to gain.

But as I mentioned, sex is not everything and a life without it is possible but simply not as much fun. I know there can be circumstances when it is not possible anymore and a good and strong relationship can certainly cope with that, but I am speaking about sexualy active and able adults.

If you don’t feel satified with your love life and are too shy to address your wishes or phantasies (which is often more difficult in a long term relationship), try gently showing your partner what you would like, guide your partner and help to make her/him a better lover. You can try bringing some wonderfully scented oil or even some toys into the game. There is no limit to your imagination and if there is something your partner does not like, always respect the boundaries. There is absolutely no harm though in testing and sometimes even pushing these boundaries just a little. You might be in for quite a pleasant surprise.

But ALWAYS accept a No as a No and not as a maybe or an invitation to try harder.

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