(the ability to wait, or to continue to do something despite difficulties)
“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” -Anonymous
Patience or being patient is probably my very personal nemesis! I know that patience is a virtue – or so I am told – but it is one that I have definitely not mastered yet. This is still one of the most difficult things for me, especially in everyday life.
Keeping a good attitude while waiting for something is really tough and I know I am not alone. I know there are people out there that are so much more patient than I am and I admire these people. In a relationship patience is one of the most important things if you really want to get to know your partner better. I am not saying to never let go of anything, as that can quickly turn into obsession – not very desirable. What I am speaking about is the patience to give someone a realistic chance to open up to you. I have always, as an obviously rather impatient person by nature, been astonished and in awe at how much patience you can whip up when your heart is really in it. When you truly care for someone, patience comes so much easier.
“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.” -Leo Tolstoy
So there is one area in my life where patience really came very easily to me, at least most of the time. My personal journey to mastering the virtue of patience began when I became a mother. My children taught me what patience really means – admittedly, sometimes the hard way. and as years went by I have learned to be more patient, or perhaps age has just made me a little milder, and more capable of patience. Don’t get me wrong, this most certainly does not apply to most other parts of my life (yet?) – which is a shame. But it is fascinating how children have their own pace and it is so beautiful and rewarding to watch them grow – and that certainly doesn’t happen over night and really takes a lot of patience. A relationship is no different. It is born and needs to be raised and nurtured, with patience and tender loving care and you can make it grow into something lasting that can make you happy (and frustrate you, drive you mad, make you sad and all the other things that are a part of life and make it so worth while) for the rest of your life if you get it right.
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” -Aristotle
So how do you become a more patient person? I already mentioned above that when your heart is in it and you truly care, it is really amazing how much more patient we can be. One reason for lack of patience in a new relationship could be that you are still healing from a previous relationship and the scars that were left behind are still too raw. These are a constant reminder from your past that can hold you back in the present and can really test your patience. If you are really serious about your new relationship it will help to communicate with your new partner about past fears. This should be done in a healthy and natural way and help you heal and not be triggered in your new relationship by things from a past relationship. It will also bring more patience and forgiveness in to your current relationship.
What makes patience in relationships more difficult than ever is the fast paced world we live in. Relationships have changed over time as has the perception of such. We are not as willing to compromise easily and often when we hit a bump in the relationship we look for the easy way out instead of showing the patience it would need to solve the issue. We judge more vehemently and often don’t take the time and patience to think it through. Instead we make snap decisions with a lack of kindness and patience that could possibly be the solution to the issue at hand. I am not saying that everything used to be better – I really don’t like it when people say that – I am saying that it is different and constantly changing and evolving. This means that we have to adapt and possibly we need to try and show more patience than ever in a relationship to make it work long term.
In essence all the previous chapters are part of this one, that is why this one is so important.
You need the COURAGE to be patient with someone you want to beginn a relationship with.
You need the patience to LISTEN to your partner and really hear him or her.
You need the patience to find out what you and your partner are really FEELING.
You need the patience to build the TRUST every relationship needs to thrive.
You need the patience to find the mutual UNDERSTANDING to make it work.
You need the patience to explore your SEXUALITY with your partner for a fulfilled intimacy.
But there is still something very important missing…
TO BE CONTINUED…