“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.” – Roy Croft
The short excursion into the ways of men and women communicating in a healthy way is almost at an end. I may not have revolutionised the topic or even have added some novel insight – that was never my intention as I am most certainly not smarter or better at it than others. My hope is though that it can be a reminder of many things we probably already know and often forget as we are caught up in our daily life and stuck in our habits and routines.
Communication, talking to one another is certainly not just about mulling over problems and discussing the big things in life. It is the conversation on a daily basis, the deep understanding that can develop between two people. Communication should never be a one way street or worse, be a cul-de-sac. I also believe that to make a relationship work, both partners need to be in it. I know that may sound weird as you may say that it always takes (at least) two in a relationship. What I mean is the commitment of both partners to make an effort. So looking back to the beginning, I am definitely did not only write this for women but most certainly also for men.
“It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis.” – Margaret Bonnano
Relationships really can be tricky and not all issues can be solved with a little insight into what could make it work better or make it easier. It can be a start though to a better mutual understanding, for more tolerance and acceptance of another person, especially if it is someone you care for and love. At the end of the day it is important to bring more consciousness into your relationship and having the ability to acknowledge that we all have our story, our history and we are all essentially the sum of our life experiences. If you are aware of the differences in those stories it will hopefully make you more understanding and lead to a better understanding for your partner. Just keep in mind that it takes a few simple (or not so simple) things to get men to talk or for men and women to communicate in a healthier way. So have the
COURAGE to address things openly without having to fear the worst consequences. We should never forget to
LISTEN to one another and really hear what is being said. We help our partner very much when we open up and address our
FEELINGS about situations and for each other, even at the risk of making ourselves – yep, here it is again – vulnerable. Knowing, when we do that we can always
TRUST our partner to not abuse our trust. All of this can lead to a much better
UNDERSTANDING for one another which in the long run can lead to a fulfilled and pleasurable
SEX LIFE where you can openly voice your longings and wishes. Even if this does not happen and fall into place immediately, don’t give up too soon and have the
PATIENCE to work through the rough patches of the relationship. Never forget to show each other the
RESPECT that you both deserve.
You can play with these terms as they gain or lose importance depending on the situation you are in. If you keep these things in mind or at least somewhere in the back of your head (and heart) it can make the effort you have to put into your relationship a little easier.
In the end it is all about love
LOVE IS AN ACT OF FAITH
“The happiness you feel is in direct proportion with the love you give.” -Oprah Winfrey
And I would like to finish this series, that I very much enjoyed writing over the past weeks, with one of my all time favourite love song by Peter Gabriel, “The Book Of Love”
or actually, it is just a BEGINNING!
If you enjoyed this, if you didn’t, if you feel there is something essential missing (I am sure there is), I would love to hear from you as I value your feedback very much. It is the best way to learn and improve and I appreciate your help.