What is the most desirable quality in a man? As always I can only speak for myself and you may think I am completely mad (which I probably am and always will be). The title of this post pretty much gives away what this quality is, but what does that actually mean and why is the BOY IN THE MAN so desirable and irrisistable (at least to me)?

“People rarely succeed unless thy have fun in what they are doing.” – Dale Carnegie

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I have written extensively about relationships and this post will most likely fit more or less into that category, although it might be a bit more personal. I never had a specific idea about the man of my dreams. I never really had a certain type. Many of my friends when asked can immediately come up with a very clear picture of the ideal man, especially what looks are concerned. I was never able to do that and looking back on past relationships I very often, at least when it comes to looks, would never have taken a second glance (and most of the time not even a first one) at the men I had relationships with. It was always something else that captivated and attracted me to a man. The most exciting quality is the BOY IN THE MAN. It can be something in his smile or something in his eyes that makes my knees go weak. A combination of both is a killer!

“Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great purpose in heart.” -Gordon B. Hinckley

Perhaps you have seen this in a man and it may even be that you were the one to bring that out in him, that twinkle in his eyes or that special something in his smile. It is that look that makes a man appear very much younger than he is, even boyish. It is that spark in his eyes when you know he is happy and has this insatiable lust for life, and possibly for you. It is the kind of man that doesn’t take everything or himself too seriously and is actually living and not just surviving.

“You must have a twinkle in your eye, a naughtiness – and the audience must realize your mind is working faster than your words.” -Jeremy Brett

A man that still has the boy inside of him knows how to play and will do things with you that are outside of most mens regular comfort zone. He will dance with you in public, tie your shoes for you in the middle of a street, he will sing to you, read to you and recite poetry and not be ashamed to do so. He will run around with you, play tag and hide and seek, not being bothered to make a fool of himself. He will be open to new ideas and will at (many) times drive you crazy – most of the time in a good way but definitely not always.

“I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in singing, especially when singing is not necessarily prescribed. – Mary Oliver

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When this man smiles at you you can immediately see the mischief in that smile and that is such a beautiful sight. I know that some people say that men never grow up, they just get bigger and in some cases I would agree. This is NOT the kind of man I am talking about here. I know there are a lot of men out there that are boys in the body of a man and that are suffering from Peter Pan syndrome, but that is a different story.

Don’t get me wrong, the BOY IN THE MAN doesn’t mean that he’s immature, which is not very desirable or that he is in any way irresponsible, quite the contrary. I am talking about a man that has not lost his playfulness. I had the pleasure to talk about this subject to someone who has devoted himself to the topic of playing and I can only recommend you check out his website here. I would rather describe the BOY IN THE MAN as someone that has not forgotten what it is like to be a boy or a child.

“Here, start living moment to moment totally and intensely, joyfully and playfully — and you will see that nothing goes out of control; that your intelligence becomes sharper; that you become younger; that your love becomes deeper. And when you go out into the world, wherever you go, spread life, playfulness, joy, as far away as possible — to every nook and corner of the earth.” – Rajneesh

So, the man I am referring to is one that has not lost the twinkle in his eyes or the spark in his heart. He has managed to preserve his playfulness and remembers what it is like to have fun and enjoy himself. But most of all he is a man that can still be amazed by the little and big wonders in this world. He has not gone blind to the beauty around him and can be fascinated and intrigued so easily.

“If you can wear the hard times of your life as furrows on your brow, you can wear the good times as a twinkle in your eye.” – Robert Breault

I once met a man with a very special twinkle in his eyes and it was there every single time I saw him. He still had the BOY IN THE MAN and it was one of the most wonderful things I have seen in a man. And one of the saddest things was when I saw that the spark was gone. The eyes went dull and the boy disapeared. Perhaps this happens when we accept being unhappy for fear of change. I hope every single day that the twinkle has come back to his eyes and the spark in his heart is reignited – at least that is how I will always see him.

And just so you know, not only men have that twinkle, that wonderful spark but all the wonderful beings out there can have it. So open your eyes to the beauty around you and find your own spark and bring that twinkle to your eyes.

Wishing you a very happy weekend!

Tanja

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