Don’t we all ask ourselves now and again: “HOW DID I GET HERE?”

I attended a webinar with Rob Dube and Gino Wickman in December and the topic was “Mastering Your Inner World”. I always tend to go into these things without any expectations as I did here as well. It was interesting, the speakers were pleasant and I was intrigued. I will not go on about the whole webinar but there was one thing – it was so simple – that moved me deeply and I have been pondering on that ever since. So I do what I always do when something is on my mind, I write.

“Our life is the sum total of all the decisions we make every day, and those decisions are determined by our priorities.” — Myles Munroe

The one sentence that stuck with me was:

All decisions are made out of love or fear!

Is it really that simple? When I look back on my life and when I look back to the questions of how I got to where I am today, I have to admit this statement to be absolutely true – for me. 

So what if we look at the questions in our lives, and upcoming decisions, keeping in mind that we either make these decisions out of love or out of fear? Or perhaps you are more comfortable phrasing it as decisions you make with your soul or your ego – the result being the same.

How often have you made a decision in your life out of fear or with your ego? 

How often have you made a decision in your life out of love or with your soul? 

How often have you regretted the ones that you have made out of fear or with your ego?

How often have you regretted the ones that you have made out of love or with your soul?

I can, as always, only speak for myself but my scales of regret most certainly tip strongly towards the decisions I made out of fear or with my ego.

“Our daily decisions and habits have a huge impact upon both our levels of happiness and success.” — Shawn Achor

One of the worst decisions I have made in my life – out of fear – was to stay in Germany, a country where I do not belong. When I was younger I told myself that it was not the right time to move on and start over – I have done that or had to do this so many times already. I told myself I need some stability in my life and to stay somewhere longer than just a couple of years. Then I had children and I told myself that they need roots. We moved once across the country and I made a promise to my children that we would not move again before they finished school and moved out. That was actually a decision that was made out of love as I was relocated, having to start over every two to three years as a child, and I did not want that experience for my children. But it was also a great excuse to not actually do it – to procrastinate. 

I have no more excuses now. My children are grown and have become amazing individuals with their own lives. I am going out on a limb now and doing something I have never done before – putting fear and ego completely aside. I want to and need to leave Germany. So, I am asking for help!

Unfortunately, my coaching business suffered dearly since COVID, where I lost pretty much everything (a different story that does not need to be told here and now) so I need to expand my network internationally and find new opportunities.

As I have always seen England as my home at heart, that would be my preference but I am very much open to other locations. So here it goes.

If you know of any people or companies that could benefit from my services as a certified iEQ9 Practitioner – my main but not exclusive focus being Leadership Coaching and the empowerment of women with the Enneagram, and supporting these to transform into the best possible version of themselves – I am truly grateful for referrals. If you have any questions, get in touch with me by hitting the reply button and I will be happy to answer them all. 

I must admit that this letter has turned out very differently from what I had in mind originally. 

But it shows that sometimes you have to do something out of the ordinary, put your ego and your fears aside and take that leap of faith with love and from your soul. 

“Life is supposed to be about love and good times, and so I’ve forgiven myself after paying the consequences of my bad decisions, and I’m ready to move forward and allow my life to be a light to others that it’s never over, even for a person like me, who has lost a tremendous amount of respect among my peers, my fans, my friends and family.” — Jon Jones

So when it comes to making decisions, I believe that it can be smart and fulfilling to ask yourself what your motivation behind your decisions is. Is it love or fear? Is it made with your soul or your ego? It can be that simple…

🎶My Song of the Week

Is this beautiful song by Thea – So Simple

📚My Poem of the Week

Is by the eldest of the Brontë Sisters, Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855)


Life, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall?
Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily
Enjoy them as they fly!
What though Death at times steps in,
And calls our Best away?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway?
Yet Hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair!


Always a sight for sore eyes – Lake Starnberg, which I will admittedly miss…

If you would like to connect with me, find out more about the Enneagram and yourself, and how it can transform you and your life, I would be happy to take the time for a speed coaching call that you can reserve right here go to my website or simply hit reply and get in touch with me directly.

Have you made more decisions in your life out of love or out of fear? I would as always love to hear from you. Hit reply, leave a comment, or just use the chat. Happy weekend to you all!


Tanja 🤗

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